community living – Sarah's Table

My little family and I are knee deep in moving. Boxes of stuff my kids, husband, and I have decided we’d like to keep in our lives are getting packed up and moved from where we sleep and dance now, to another house, just a few miles away.

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I am excited about all the change that’s coming up- it all lines up with who we are as a family. I’m also nervous. A lot of the change we signed up for involves people. Up close. Personal. Even when I’m tired and hungry and am feeling completely DONE with the day.

Friend, we are co-renting a house with another family. They have two kids, too, and a dog, and the house is not large. The kitchen, yard (hooray!), living room, and laundry room are all shared. The laundry room is in the space designated for my little family.

We willingly, cheerfully signed up to do this.

Why?????

It all started out simply enough. The hubs and I were on the lookout for a different rental. Some of our motivation was cost (housing is expensive where we live). I don’t bring in a pay check, either. I have consistently worked part time jobs since my first baby was born, but I stopped when we moved to Colorado because it’s what works best for our family right now.

So, finances are what brought us to the door.

I’m part of an online group for partners of students and faculty members of the seminary where my husband works. One day, a “last chance” type of post came up from another member whom I’d never met. She was looking for another occupant for the house her family was renting so they could continue living there and paying the cheap-for-our-location rent.

Tim (the hubs) and I had been praying about where we would live next and also feeling some shifts in ourselves, so when I saw it, I sent the listing to him. We both said, “let’s check it out.”

We arranged to meet with the family, asked each other a bunch of questions, asked around for references, prayed, talked. Then we signed a lease.

A few things that might be helpful to know, if you’re planning to follow our journey:

-We are viewing this next year as an experiment. We can always move in a year, but both couples involved are motivated to make it work.

-We have healthy boundaries set in place between the two families and are working them out as we go, and meeting over dinner as a household right after we move in to continue that process.

-A lot of the world does this. This is not new. In fact, this happens in a lot of major cities, due to high cost of living.

-My kids are ecstatic. They are acquiring two new friends and a dog and could not be happier about it.

-We will still be hosting dinners.

-I am not entirely sure what the dance party situation will look like- loud ones after dinner are currently the norm for us.

unnamed (3) I returned from a 26-day visit to my old stomping grounds last Sunday.

If you had to guess what question I keep getting, you’d probably be correct.

“How was your trip?”

If you’d ask me the same thing, I’ll tell you-

It was good.

There was just a lot of richness and life in it, and I’m so grateful I got to do it.

It also challenged me, and I’ll tell you why.

There are two things I didn’t totally expect when I set out to stop trying to solve everything with how I eat and get healthy in my whole self- body, mind, and spirit:

-what a process it is (so much time. This is totally not a quick fix, post-the-before-and-afters pursuit. I am might be walking this road into heaven.)

-that a by product of opening up my mind and my heart to more vibrant health is that I am learning to love people better.

The thing about sharing a house with people outside the normal systems of my every day is that it pushed me to examine the why, how, and what of how I function, because each nuclear family tends to operate differently, so all those things aren’t just “how we do it” anymore. I came face to face with some things that I realized require some change on my part, and it was uncomfortable and absolutely humbling.

I’m so grateful for that.

Because while I love people, loving people up close is more complex. It requires humility, openness, work, and a teachable spirit.

I want to love people better.

You can remind me of that desire anytime this year because I have some news:

We are moving into a small house in the next couple of weeks, with another family. The kitchen, living room, laundry room, mowing duties, and yard are all shared. We all have a willingness to make it work, talk through issues, set appropriate boundaries, and enjoy each other’s company.

I’m excited and a little nervous.

There’s one thing for sure- my holistic table game is about to ramp up.